alive.

well. I have been hit with some news that is a little alarming.  I am pretty sure I am in the onset of Lupus. I have had some testing done and now have an eye issue that is from this disease. I am trying not to throw a pity party. I had a mental shut down.

but then....

I realized that I need to make sure and live every single day. I mean, you can die from a car wreck and some diagnosis won't even matter then.

I am resting my heart and mind today. Preparing to put on my big girl panties and start this thing.

So, what does "really living" mean to me??

Talking to my kids. Not just doing the mommy uh huh, nod thing.

Be happy to see husband when he gets home. Give him a hug and let him know that I missed him that day.

Don't wish away the baby years. She cries and screams, it makes me lose my mind, but someday I will wish for these times again.

Be patient with my parents. They only do what they do because they love me.

Exercise and drink water. It may seem small, but taking care of ourselves in a huge investment in our future.

Take time to foster relationships with friends. They help us, make us laugh, love us and help us stay sane.

Dance. I love music and think I don't have time for it. I need to make it. My boys love dancing with their momma.

Dress up. Just because it's fun.

This diagnosis is not a death sentence. But I don't want to wait till I get one to start living.