When Kids Quit

I became THAT mom last night. My oldest son quit gymnastics and my heart broke. I wanted so badly for him to do well and have a "thing" that he did. He could be so good! I love watching him and love watching him succeed. He allows fear and the success of others to get him down. I didn't want to talk to him at first. I cried. I put my own selfish desires ahead of his feelings.

Maybe this is what he needs.......

He was very torn about what to do. I made him make the decision on his own. He has struggled with it since the minute he made it. But, as I told him, this is part of becoming a young man. Decisions have to made about what you want. I also made him tell my husband and he will have to tell the grandparents. He had to tell his coach as well.  When he was asked why, he gave a rude "i JUST don't want to!". The biggest part of this for us, as parents, is his behavior and how he quit. So, along with this, if he cannot come up with a better reason to quit, he must pay back some of the money we invested. We just purchased ANOTHER uniform last week. We have paid well into the thousands this year for him to be able to do this. He begged to go back (yes, we have been through this before). I feel I should have pushed him to stay the first time. I would push harder this time, but he is rude and disrepectful of his coach and the other gymnasts when he will not do the skill (or even try) and says he just doesn't care.

I dream of everthing in my world nightly.  I keep thinking of him being the oldest child, the leader at gymnastics, and so many other things that may seem overwhelming for him.  I think we are going to do some bible studies on fear and leadership. We will look into some good books on leadership. He panics when it is time to step up. I do want him to struggle with this fear and miss out all that life can offer.

My heart is broken, I am dissapointed in him.

 I hope he learns something through all of this.

 I hope I learn something, too.

the government is only what we make of it

“Make Jesus, your Lord, proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God's emissaries for keeping order. It is God's will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of fools... Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.” 1 Peter 2:13-17 (The Message Translation)

I am at my wits end with Christians that are rude and hateful towards our President. It does not matter wether you agree with him there or not, wether you helped put him there or not. We are called as Christians to respect our governmental officials and to believe that God is in control of even our government.

We are to respect the Government.

We are to treat everyone with respect.

We are God's people.

I believe in using your right to vote to make changes. I believe in the right to petition. I believe in proper debate.

I also believe in uprising.

How?

By being so passionate and factual about your beliefs and desires that you create an uprising that ends with the turn over by vote. We live in a democracy.

We created the government we live in.

I think most people want to sit around and complain and blame someone else.I have not had anyone bring a factual or passionate cry out for government change. There is no one knocking at my door with facts or asking me to vote a certain way.

I will not listen after someone starts with rude name calling about a government official. I will listen to factual arguements against policy and/or politician.

I am so fed up with the election process and we still have a while to go. It is something that I hope I can speak up against someday.

Today is not the season for that.

I have to trust that a measly one vote counts.

I have to believe that my God is bigger than the Government. :)

Hi!

I kind of fell off the face of the earth. I am back. I had to kind of hide out in prayer for a bit. Living in the land of unemployment ate me up a bit. I am happy to say that my husband is working again!!!!!  I am doing MUCH better with this and have been putting my thoughts back together. I am ready to enter the blog world again. I have missed writing, but just getting out of bed and working was a bit much for me.

I have my favorite part of the year coming up - Holy Week. I hope to blog everyday next week. I actually have a lot of blog posts I am ready to put out there. There was a time in my life that I cherished being a controversial subject. I have become a meek, easily hurt, girl. I am need to grab a hold of the confidence of learning, my stronghold in my faith, and go for it. I hope to spark conversation, maybe help others feel accepted or help them question their beliefs. It is good for us to ask questions. It is possible to have discussions with out hateful words.  It is possible to read someone's opinion without agreeing. It is possible to bring around change with out tearing people apart.

One of the saddest realizations I have had as I grow, some people just have to be left behind. I have always tried to pull everyone I have ever been close to along with me where ever I am going. I am realizing that not everyone grows with you. Does this mean that we don't like them anymore? no.....Does it mean it is a permanent separation? no......It means that that season of life is over and it is time to move on.

So, that brings me back around full circle. It is time for this season of my life. I am no longer meek, easily hurt. I am a strong, still growing, still learning woman. I will embrace this time.

(ROAR!!  hehehe)

 I will blog about this time.

My life as a wife, mother of 3 with 2 dogs. :)

oh yea, my house is just as clean.......not.

When it comes to blogging, I have blogger jealousy. I mean, how do these women do it???  Their pictures show the perfect house, the perfect kids, not burned muffins and they ALWAYS have on make up. and, then, I read like a bloggers secret post. I mean a post about how to blog. Like, actually do it professionally. They have these nifty services where you can write a lot of posts and it will post them for you daily, weekly. etc. They also talked about the pictures they post and how posed they are. It was refreshing to know that they would portray a perfect bloggers world even when it wasn't.

So this leads me to my point. Faking it, till you make it. I have to come realize that I am not perfect, nor am I getting any younger. This newborn, sleep deprevation is kicking my tail. I just got done crying like a baby because I forgot a tshirt order form for one my kids. I mean, really? Get a grip, Lady!!  :)  I am an emotional bag of hormones that can't remember anything and am eating enough for a 300 pound man.

As I write this, I am laughing. It helps to laugh, to write, to expose your self to the big bad wolf of the public. Need a little humbling??? Go ahead and tell the world you are perfect, you have this ALL under control and you will be humbled. Believe me.

Now, back to me. :)

I am on a mission to take the house work back over because the baby daddy around here is taking his test for a NEW JOB!!!  I sure wish I could make money grow from trees because he is awesome at laundry and dishes. I will hate taking those back. ha! I will begin my prayers of "Lord, just get me through this" and end with my prayers of "Lord, thank you for each dish, each piece of food". I actually think not having to do the things I loathe have taken a toll on me. I find strength and courage in simple acts of homemaking. Making myself do things for others and having prayer time and me time. Just as this blog sets me straight, so does working in the home.

My kids have suffered a little with my crankiness and tiredness. But, they have also picked up their end of the stick to help me. Which I love about them.

I hear the behbeh crying yet again. I am off to milk :)

Happy days to you - SPRING IS ALMOST HERE!
       (me and the baby daddy, aaaahhhh!)