When Kids Quit

I became THAT mom last night. My oldest son quit gymnastics and my heart broke. I wanted so badly for him to do well and have a "thing" that he did. He could be so good! I love watching him and love watching him succeed. He allows fear and the success of others to get him down. I didn't want to talk to him at first. I cried. I put my own selfish desires ahead of his feelings.

Maybe this is what he needs.......

He was very torn about what to do. I made him make the decision on his own. He has struggled with it since the minute he made it. But, as I told him, this is part of becoming a young man. Decisions have to made about what you want. I also made him tell my husband and he will have to tell the grandparents. He had to tell his coach as well.  When he was asked why, he gave a rude "i JUST don't want to!". The biggest part of this for us, as parents, is his behavior and how he quit. So, along with this, if he cannot come up with a better reason to quit, he must pay back some of the money we invested. We just purchased ANOTHER uniform last week. We have paid well into the thousands this year for him to be able to do this. He begged to go back (yes, we have been through this before). I feel I should have pushed him to stay the first time. I would push harder this time, but he is rude and disrepectful of his coach and the other gymnasts when he will not do the skill (or even try) and says he just doesn't care.

I dream of everthing in my world nightly.  I keep thinking of him being the oldest child, the leader at gymnastics, and so many other things that may seem overwhelming for him.  I think we are going to do some bible studies on fear and leadership. We will look into some good books on leadership. He panics when it is time to step up. I do want him to struggle with this fear and miss out all that life can offer.

My heart is broken, I am dissapointed in him.

 I hope he learns something through all of this.

 I hope I learn something, too.