Today, as I realize that once again it is past Tuesday, I am in a somber mood.
Today, I cry.
Today, I have a lot of questions for God.
Today I found out that yet another friend is at the end of life because of drug use. He is on life support with his family by his side. He has fought an addiction for many, many years and it has finally caught up with him. I am angry. I am sad. I want to know why God allows us to screw up so badly and even to the point that we can't even help ourselves.
I guess the point is that we could never have helped ourselves. We depend on Him without even knowing it. Without even being aware of this crutch. He knows. He knows that I am throwing my fist at him in desperation and screaming in my heart "WHY!!!!!!"
Why do people get destroyed by addiction?
Why do little children get cancer?
Why do grandmas and grandpas die?
Why?
Why?
Why?
I am so extremely tired and have a horrible headache and feel like crying. So, I will. As a mother, a woman, and do-it-all kind of gal I tend to act like everything is perfect. Like I have it all together. Well, somedays we don't. It is not only the good days that we must thank God, but also on the days when we really don't want to.
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